Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Tough love....

A son asked for some money, as he had a bill come due and he was short.

I turned him down.... but not down flat.

It's like this.... Lately he's spent some money in ways I didn't think was a good idea. He didn't ask my opinion before spending... but I offered it anyway. Dad's are allowed to do that. I didn't lay into him harshly, but I took the time to point out his obligations and the idea of setting money aside for future needs.

So... when he came up lacking on a bill and asked for money, I said no. What I did offer, on the other hand, was to buy one of his firearms from him at a fair price. I listed two, an old shotgun and an old rifle. Neither valuable, but I know he likes them both and would rather not part with either.

I want him to pay his bills, but I'll be damned if I'll support his bad financial decision and let a chance at a good lesson pass. Now he has money to meet the obligation, and I have a 30/30 bolt action made in the late '40s. Maybe one day I'll let him buy it back for what I paid, but not anytime soon.

Besides.... I've always thought the 30/30 was an underrated cartridge, and this rifle will make a heck of a cast bullet shooter if I can find the right load. :-)


Albert A Rasch said...

If only more parents were as thoughtful as you, we might see a little more maturity in their progeny.

Great call on your part.

The Rasch Outdoor Chronicles.
The Range Reviews: Tactical.
Proud Member of Outdoor Bloggers Summit.

Old NFO said...

That works :-) I did that with a daughter over a camera... She bought it back in 6 months!

Crucis said...

Good on ya!

Fortunately, my daughter learned her penny-pinching lessons well from her mother. Now, she and her hubby have no credit cards, one debit card and their only debt is on a small house with a mortgage they can afford.

Makes her mother and me proud.

Brigid said...

Yes, when he was unemployed and wanted to buy some "fun things" you were right to caution him against it. Then when after buying them,

When he doesn't have enough money for his basic bills, giving him the money would have been reinforcing a behavior that would only continue.

He's an adult, as kids we get a bit more leeway. You did the right thing.

The lesson never ends. I had $2000 in unexpected expense for the household this winter. I could have put it on plastic and continued my fun. I paid cash, and for the next few months, I traveled little outside of work, shot less, and made do with used books and friends company for entertainment, until I could build my meager savings back up. Was it fun. No, I'd have rather gone to the range with my friends and spent $100 on ammo every weekend.

Crucis said...

Brigid, that is what we should all do. Monetary obligations---debts, come first over self. Moderating and controlling debt is a hard-learned lesson that many never learn or do so a great personal expense.

I'm in a position that, if necessary, I could pay-off all my debt. But, to do so, would eliminate my emergency fund and some other savings. As long as I can deduct mortgage interest, I'll not do that unless tax law change.

I believe it is more important to create and maintain an emergency fund. A fund as large as we can comfortably maintain. A least a couple of thousand at a minimum regardless of your income level.

Life has lessons. Some painful and some pleasurable, but life has both kinds.

The Captain said...

A good lesson. When my daughter went off to college, I told her The Bank of Dad was closed. I'll pay her for doing jobs for me over the summer, but I'm not giving her money to go out with her friends. Neither did I cover the $225 speeding ticket she got. They have to learn the value of money somehow.